Time Keeper

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Am6NS05pZH0

Ok so since I'm hoping this will eventually be my book I can't always be writing about Cancer, because Cancer was something I had it's not who I am. So I just heard this song, "Time keeper" by Grace Potter, and it reminded me of my own personal timekeeper, my friend Stephanie. Not to sound all Mr.T but I pity the fool who has yet to meet their long lost twin. I mean she truly is everything I am not, including punctuality, a trait I do not bear. Furthermore making her my "Time keeper". Not to mention the fact that, depending on our hairstyles and eye make-up, it's simply uncanny how much we resemble each other. People say it all the time, even at Starbucks they are giving me her Vanilla Latté and her my Carmel Macchiato. By now we just smile politely and switch once we are out of the barista's eyesight. I like to joke and tell her we were forced to be friends strictly by how we look alike, but it was fate. She is from a small town in Vermont, came to Philadelphia to go to hair school. Her being the shy small town girl she was, me being the loud mouth I was would normally deter our friendship, but little did I know that that first day at hair school I would meet my twin.  School started at 9 am, I'll never know but now that I think about it I bet she was there at 8:15, waiting with her clammy hands on her pencil. She is always anxiety ridden, me I like to blow with the wind gypsy style, without her I would be late for work more then usual. She keeps me in check, but back to the story of how we met. So I stammer in around 9:20 am, I had gotten on the subway going the wrong way, which made me miss the #4 bus. I guess I should have done a run through, but whatever at least I made it. So after I loudly settle in joking with the girl next to me, further interrupting the teacher, my fellow classmate says how come you didn't come with your sister? Sister? She nods to the girl sitting directly in front of me. Now I didn't get it quite yet because I could only see the back of her head but as the morning went on and the looks were passed I realized OMG we look just alike. It was that Lindsey Lohan moment in Parent Trap, where I was like "I don't know that girl! She is from snowy Vermont.!" yet everyone thought we were sisters. Being at school on the first day establishes a lot too, like who are you going to sit with at lunch? Who is going to be the funny one, which of course I was gunning for. Being associated with Ms. Vermont wasn't helping, it was just the way those big green eyes would dart and glance at me. Almost as though she was observing me. Now only in hair school do they give you like 85 cigarette breaks, so at 10:15 we were allowed outside for our first 15 minute break. Everyone was bustling outside and I figured this was my chance to feel out the group. As I stand there doing my comedic act of why I was late this morning, waving around my Newport cigarette like there is no tomorrow, I see my twin across the parking lot... staring. Out of the corner of my eye for that 15 minutes I watched as she looked me up and down licking her lips. It was just the way she was watching me, simply observing me, I didn't know what to make of it. So our 15 minutes were up and it was time to go back inside. As everyone got situated in their seats, she turns around and says to me," Hey, what are you doing for lunch?"  Now we went to school on South St. In Philadelphia, so the rest of the girls had been talking about eating at one of the restaurants near by... in a group. So I said," Nothing much, why?" I figured I would invite her out with the rest of us. "Do you want to come over my place? I live a block away," she said. That's when my heart began to race and I said in a shaky voice," Well what do you have there because the rest of us were going to go out around here." She says," I don't know....food and stuff." Weird.  I'm thinking this girl is a lesbian. Great! Not that I have anything against that but I just don't play for that team you know? Like I don't mind cheering for that team but I don't have a uniform you know? I could not believe that on my first day of school I have to worry about fending off this girl, who is attracted to me, I never saw this coming! So I had from 10:30 till noon to sweat it out about how although I was extremely flattered I would have to let her down easy. I gathered my thoughts in a panic about how we went to a practically all girls school, and how there was plenty of fish in the sea. By the time 11:50 rolled around my upper lip was sweating thinking about the possible confrontation that was about to occur. She turns around smiles, and winks. I wonder what she thinks is going to happen.... so we get dismissed for what I think will be the longest hour of my life. As soon as we get outside we start walking and I light a cigarette to accompany the cool autumn air. To be honest I have no idea what we rambled about on that one block walk, but I'm sure I did most of the talking. She turns me down this little ally way with only a teal door in the middle of an all brick wall. I decide to light yet another cigarette even though we only had about ten more steps till we reached our destination. My nerves were getting the best of me and I tried to calmly remember the "it's not you, it's me" speech I had rehearsed. As we came to a stop outside of that teal door I realized my fingers were burning because I smoked that whole cigarette in one drag! Then she says," Before we go inside I have to ask you something..." OMG is this her pick up line? Is she not going to let me in because I don't like clams? She goes on," I really don't want to offend you but just by looking at you and watching you I just thought you were the kind of person..." My ears were ringing and to this day I remember waiting with anticipation for her to drop the L bomb so I just screamed out " WHAT DO YOU WANT TO ASK ME?" she wiped her sweaty palms on her coat and says," Do you smoke pot?" and there I stood shocked, relieved as a huge smile crept upon my face and I screamed ever so loudly YES! And we danced in that ally way as if we had known each other for a lifetime. It was the day I met my long lost twin. That was almost 8 years ago. Since then we have grown up, had babies, and worked together off and on. I still struggle with my punctuality, and she is still there through thick and thin, she will forever be my timekeeper.

Spirit of Marilyn Calling Me.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJGCW1m0WFk

Where do I begin...or end? Today, today I got my Final Chemo! The worst is over! There are so many things I can not wait to do.... that is when this medicine is out of my system. Number One: pull the ultimate Cinderella (minus the curfew), and put on some high heels! Not glass ones though, not the way I'm going to tear it up. I mean I'm trying to go "Please Don't Stop the Music Style", with Rihanna, in VIP. Believe me, not to be snotty but with my witty personality I can schanagle myself into some pretty swanky places. (Reminder to blog about Paris later, names will be changed so no worries) Let me see..... Number Two: Go to the gym. I mean P90X or Insanity style, I swear to you over the next couple months you will see my body transform like Optimus Prime. If I'm going to be in VIP with the best of them I have to look the part! Plus high heels hurt when your heavy. It looks like you are walking on coal verses gliding on a surfboard on the water, feels like that too. P.S. I'm allowed to say that because I've personally experienced the thick and thin of both. I could go on and on with what I could do, but instead I would like to show you. Cancer might have sucked but most of the time Reality does.  “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.”
― Fred Rogers