Pretty Girl Rock

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_Ww5JpbtSE&feature=related

So I'm having a benefit thrown for me by a phenomenal group of friends on Sunday. Today I went with my my mother to try on some dresses to see what kind of look I would be going for. Well.... apparently there is only one look I can go for...BIG GIRL. I mean really, I have gained 30 pounds, 10 of it in my one swollen chin. Those smalls that I blogged about sashaying there way to the front have now sprinted their way to the back corner of my closet. I am forced to bring out the "I swear the Dr. wants me to put on the LBS. before chemo," clothes. Which mainly consists of cotton shorts and tanks all twisted like Keith SWEAT, because all I do is sweat! I try to do my hair every now and then... its hard because I get so hot I just want it up. Now I don't know if I've tapped into the hump on my back, plus the 3 chins, plus the steroid acne, plus the huge bruise and skin glue from my port on my chest. Which every one loves to stare at. Didn't their mothers ever teach them that staring is rude?  I'm just saying for someone who is usually well maintained, for those who will see me on Sunday.... prepare yourself. Now remember laughter is the best medicine and nothing makes it worse for me then when people are uncomfortable around me, by the way I look. Sometimes I don't want to go places because when I walk in they already filled out my name tag as Debbie Downer. Come on.... I am still me. I can take a joke. But on the contrary Sunday is all my beauty business people. We love to look Fabulous for each other ... hold each other to a certain standard. This is in no way a judgemental standard, it's one that I've come to love, keeps me on my toes with the fashion world I love! So in the end as for Sunday I will have to accept my fate of short term physical ugliness, for long term inner health. But always remember it is Heather Maloney wee are talking about... and I will do what I do always, no matter how I look...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm28EEeyLek&feature=related